Why I will never yell at my daughter again

“Children grow, and we grow with them. Childhood is fleeting. May our obsession to correct it don’t stop us of enjoying it. ” (Carlos Gonzalez – Paediatrician)

I was sharing the other day on a different post that I came to the determination that I would never yell at my daughter again. Now, I need to rectify here, cause I’m in the process of it and not achieving it 100%. It’s hard to acknowledge our weaknesses but it’s good to recognise them so that we can change. And rather of this post being some sort of “confession” is just a conversation, between you and me, where I’d like to explain why I have decided this and maybe you can come to the same conclusion, just like me.

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A few weeks ago, probably over a month I was going through much stress, but not on a daily basis, I would just have some peaks every once in a while, it might have been because of feeling too tired, or because I was losing hair due to breastfeeding, or feeling weight guilty…any how, if I continue with the list this post is going to sound depressing and I’m going to depress myself just by writing it! LOL …

The thing is that my patience with J was decreasing in inverse proportion. She was just HER, as usual, the cheerful cheeky monkey that likes to play around and many times wants things on her own way. But I, I was yelling more than usual, anything would drive me round the bend. It was so unfair for her and then I remembered some wise words I read a long time ago. It was actually when I was pregnant with her and I used to read all these books about parenting, childhood, or even watching “supper-nanny”! I remembered the words from Carlos Gonzalez, a renowned Spanish paediatrician, on his book “Besame mucho” (Kiss Me) where he explained that us, as parents have the ability to control our behaviour, that when we discipline our children there is no need to raise your voice or instil fear in them. It is wrong to say “You drive me crazy” or “You’re making me mad” The blunt truth is that we are the only agents who have made the decision to get angry because of an specific situation. If you think that’s impossible, try to remember that time when you were with your boss, or some friend or a stranger, and they did something to you that you didn’t like, did you raise your voice to them or could you control yourself because otherwise you would get fired or lose a friendship or feel ashamed? See, we CAN do it! we can control ourselves, there is no excuse, and specially there is no excuse for the person you love the most.

So now, I think before I speak, I breathe before I yell and I remember that my daughter is a child, that is growing, just as I am growing,..I remember that childhood is fleeting, and that I should enjoy it along with her, because I don’t want to get fired by her! 😉

You can read more about Carlos Gonzalez on this interview. (most of the content you can find about him is in Spanish but you will probably see some works written in English as well) He is an advocate of natural upbringing and I share his views in many of these matters.

Share your thoughts with me on this! Leave a comment. 🙂

My mum is the worst mum in the world

My mum is the worst mum in the world. Let me go back in time, since we’re celebrating Mother’s Day in Spain and other countries, and tell you the “horrible” things my mum did to me:

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Being an unbearable fussy eater, stage that lasted up to 4-5 years of age, my mum was so “mean” that she used to blend all these natural juices, almost daily, and frequently with some “delicious” beetroot and other vegetables added to them. Luckily for me, she would put some oranges in them to hide the taste of iron from the beetroot! Without those smoothies I would have probably been a very malnourished child, because, couldn’t I be more difficult, could I?! Sometimes keeping the food in my mouth for over an hour…but you know what? My mum knew better.

IMG_1919IMG_1920With every changing season and specially in winter, she would wrapped me around and around with the scarf and zipped up my coat up to my nose or even putting me a pair of warm tights under my trousers if needed, because “darling, if the air is rushing through your mouth you’re going to get sick!” I would look like a giant marshmallow walking down the street, but how many colds or pneumonias did she save me from?

Because, definitely, my mum knew better.

We can’t forget the countless times that she stay in my bed with me, listening to my stories, life-changing experiences for me, dreams of a little girl to her probably, but she never showed a sign of exhaustion. She might have even been thinking to herself “Oh gosh, when is this little one going to fall asleep so I can go back to bed?” However, my mum knew better.

ENG: “Today an angel came to our house, just when I needed it, you’ve got the best mum in the world!!!!”

Let me tell you, my mum was so “cruel” that in my teens she would make me go with her to these care homes for the elderly where we would stay there for quite a while, me watching how she would talk to them, hug them, and moreover, listen to them. Couldn’t it exist anything more exciting for a fifteen-year-old than doing that! But she liked “torturing” me teaching me values like loving thy neighbour and service must overcome our convenience and selfish desires. Because, again, my mum knew better.

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There’s not enough space in this post for me to really tell you how wonderful my mother is. It is my earnest hope that some day E and J can say that “I am the worst mother in the world” A secret-keeper, a pillow for their tears, a shopping companion, a therapist for their fears…on this Mother Day, I wish that all of you can have a mum as mean as mine, because only then, you will know what it really feels to love and be loved.

*Love you mummy! I know you will be the first one reading this post! :)*

(because, oh yeah! she is also our number one follower!)

And to you all, what lessons did your mothers teach you? Leave a comment and let’s spread the good values we learnt from them on this #mothersday.