Living arrows 3/52 – Falling asleep

I loved that quote that inspired this linky “Living Arrows” by Kahlil Gibran that says “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” cause it gives me the opportunity to share with you some simple but special moments of the lives of my two treasures.

Moments, like this one, that I don’t want to forget. The day when my 11 months old baby boy was so tired he fell asleep on his high chair for the very first time.

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If you have kids you will have probably experienced something similar to this. It used to happen to our 5 year old little girl when she was around that age.

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We just think it’s so adorable! They’re so full of energy. They never want to stop playing, pulling your hair, jumping up and down or basically just being kids, but when they are exhausted like this they can’t help it. They start nodding with their heads. That’s what my little boy was doing as we watched him fall asleep. At least he didn’t have anything in his mouth! Our little girl used to do it while she was still chewing the food…lol 😀

So what was your #livingarrows moments this last week? Looking forward to reading them.

Living Arrows

Why I will never yell at my daughter again

“Children grow, and we grow with them. Childhood is fleeting. May our obsession to correct it don’t stop us of enjoying it. ” (Carlos Gonzalez – Paediatrician)

I was sharing the other day on a different post that I came to the determination that I would never yell at my daughter again. Now, I need to rectify here, cause I’m in the process of it and not achieving it 100%. It’s hard to acknowledge our weaknesses but it’s good to recognise them so that we can change. And rather of this post being some sort of “confession” is just a conversation, between you and me, where I’d like to explain why I have decided this and maybe you can come to the same conclusion, just like me.

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A few weeks ago, probably over a month I was going through much stress, but not on a daily basis, I would just have some peaks every once in a while, it might have been because of feeling too tired, or because I was losing hair due to breastfeeding, or feeling weight guilty…any how, if I continue with the list this post is going to sound depressing and I’m going to depress myself just by writing it! LOL …

The thing is that my patience with J was decreasing in inverse proportion. She was just HER, as usual, the cheerful cheeky monkey that likes to play around and many times wants things on her own way. But I, I was yelling more than usual, anything would drive me round the bend. It was so unfair for her and then I remembered some wise words I read a long time ago. It was actually when I was pregnant with her and I used to read all these books about parenting, childhood, or even watching “supper-nanny”! I remembered the words from Carlos Gonzalez, a renowned Spanish paediatrician, on his book “Besame mucho” (Kiss Me) where he explained that us, as parents have the ability to control our behaviour, that when we discipline our children there is no need to raise your voice or instil fear in them. It is wrong to say “You drive me crazy” or “You’re making me mad” The blunt truth is that we are the only agents who have made the decision to get angry because of an specific situation. If you think that’s impossible, try to remember that time when you were with your boss, or some friend or a stranger, and they did something to you that you didn’t like, did you raise your voice to them or could you control yourself because otherwise you would get fired or lose a friendship or feel ashamed? See, we CAN do it! we can control ourselves, there is no excuse, and specially there is no excuse for the person you love the most.

So now, I think before I speak, I breathe before I yell and I remember that my daughter is a child, that is growing, just as I am growing,..I remember that childhood is fleeting, and that I should enjoy it along with her, because I don’t want to get fired by her! 😉

You can read more about Carlos Gonzalez on this interview. (most of the content you can find about him is in Spanish but you will probably see some works written in English as well) He is an advocate of natural upbringing and I share his views in many of these matters.

Share your thoughts with me on this! Leave a comment. 🙂

10 absolute truths you will only experience with a 4 year-old

Having a 4 year-old can be quite an interesting adventure. They’re not in the stage of completely dependency as a new born baby but they’re not miss/mr independence either, even though they believe they are. So after a week where I have committed myself to not raise my voice to J again (I will have to tell you why in a different post) here comes, the 10″absolute” truths you will only experience if you have a 4 year-old.

Truth #1: I don’t like this food! I wanna eat out. 

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It doesn’t matter if they’ve helped you in the kitchen, or if you have tried to hide all the “good-green stuff” so it looks more appetizing, as soon as they sit on the table, they switch their auto-mechanism of “I’m going to give a hard time to mummy” and start whining about it.

Truth #2: (maybe only applicable to girls?.. I don’t know!) I don’t like these clothes!

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J at 18 months…a very early fashionista

After taking off the closet 4 dresses, trying out 2 trousers, leaving them on the floor, trying to put a long t-shirt as a dress, and who knows what else! our little fashionista cannot decide what to wear! I can’t wait for school to start so the only options she will have will be blue and grey!

Truth #3: Power Rangers is serious stuff…

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Really, how many versions of The Power Rangers are currently out there?! Dino Charge, Mystic something.., and how creepy can be that all the cast look alike from one version to the other! BUT she loves them! She’s into the pink one now by the way, she used to be the red one. Apparently pink is cool now. I still can remember the time when I was telling her off because of something she did and she started pointing at me with both arms extended and making a noise like “ssshhhh”..and I was like, “WTH?! what are you doing J?” -“Trying to destroy you! like the Power Rangers, mummy!”… 😀 such a cutie, right?!

Truth #4: Bedtime to infinity and beyond!

So now, all the characters from her favourite book stories have suddenly acquired new names… we will have “Snow white – Rainbow dash” and her “Prince- Apple Jack” and of course, the prince’s horse named “Beautiful Twilight-J.C.T” we can never forget to say the “beautiful” first please. That means that a story that would take less than 5 minutes to read is told in like forever! By the way, you can tell the influence of My Little Pony there…

Truth #5: I will always leave the park crying.

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It doesn’t matter how long you stayed, how involved you were in their games, they will never accept the words  “It’s time to go” For them “Home” means depriving them of their freedom and wildest dreams. And it gets even worse if you were on a play date with another friend. Then it’s a whole good bye drama “I’ll miss you J! – I’ll miss you too S! Come play to my house soon!”

Bless our little J though, she is indeed such a character, and this probably sounded as if we were complaining about her but let me tell you the other 5 truths:

Truth #6: She always accepts my apologies.

And this probably applies to your little one. It doesn’t matter your mistake, as soon as you say you’re sorry, they will be there kissing you and hugging you again, like nothing happened. No hurt feelings.

Truth #7: Any day is a good day to wear a princess dress!

Isn’t it right? Life is not to be wasted waiting for the perfect moment! just like a 4 year-old does it, you fancy wearing a santa dress in the middle of april? Go for it! they know it well, live life to the fullest.

Truth #8: If you say you’re going to do something, do it. 

They might not have consistency but they do have commitment. Specially if you’re the one who promised to do something. They will make you keep your word, every bit of what you said. They do it as well. They’re quite serious for that, specially if it involves playing. 😉

Truth #9: You will always be their hero.

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Embrace this stage, I heard it gets quite difficult in a few years! so this is a time to enjoy because no matter how tired you are and look and feel you will always be beautiful to them, daddy will always be the strongest and mummy…mummy will always be “mummy” (I think that implies a lot!)

Truth #10: they will always appreciate your time.

No matter how expensive the toy or if it didn’t cost you anything at all, if they don’t have anyone to play it with, it will be pointless. They will always appreciate the time you spend with them. The memories you are building will be the ones that will stay with them. They are your perfect boss, the one that really acknowledges that you are needed and loved, and abundantly rewarded for spending time with them.

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These are not “absolute truths” at all! every child is unique, but these are our truths, the ones we embrace and we learn every day from our little J. What have you learnt from your little one so far?

 

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The Princess with Super-Hero’s cape

 

“The urge to create is equally strong in all children. Boys and girls. It’s imagination that counts. Not skill. (…)”

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A while ago I read about this letter that Lego posted back in the 70’s and it made me think of our little J. I used to think that there were toys meant for boys and other ones meant for girls. I should say it right, more than “meant” I would say “like”, boys like cars, girls like dolls. That was my thinking before having our first child. She has taught me better though. She has shown to Sam and I that there is no gender in “having fun”. She likes the tenderness and love for animals of Snow-white but also wants to be as strong as Hulk and as brave as Spiderman.

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However, society seems to work  from a different angle. If the girl is found running around in the store looking for a football or a truck she’s called a tomboy, if on the other side, she’s only into prams and dolls and loves wearing pink she is classified as a girly girl. I hate stereotypes, they will close all the doors of creativity and imagination. It’s sad to see sometimes when we go clothes shopping that most of the time, super hero themes and other animated characters, like the Minions, for example, are only on the boys section. When I was a child I liked pink, I didn’t like trucks or cars, and I loved drawing, dolls and make-up, and there’s northing wrong with that. We absolutely love J’s personality. She loves having fun racing cars, dressing up like a princess, like a witch, like a mermaid, or sometimes she will be a monster, superman or a ninja. For her, there’s no difference in playing, it’s the fun itself that counts. I’m pretty sure every stage will be unique but so far we’re so excited and grateful for every moment with her that cannot wait to see what’s ahead of us! The main thing is to remember not to fall into labels and get the most out of every memory you build with them.

Check what we mean with this little clip! J training to be some sort of Ninja (this was after watching “The Karate Kid” with Sam) haha

What are your children into? We’d love to read your stories as well! 🙂