Losing more than “weight” while breastfeeding

When I planned to write this post I had lost 4 pounds and felt so good with myself. Today I made the terrible mistake of weighting myself again and found out that I had been betrayed by the scale. Losing weight while breastfeeding is possible but not for me yet. Let me tell you instead what I can lose while breastfeeding:

I can lose the patience with myself when trying to eat healthy. We don’t have the pleasure to have a chef cooking for us like maybe the celebrities do, so that means, that if I want to eat something nice, healthy and original I will have to cook it myself, or ask Sam to do it. Two kids and a house to run seems like enough to me most of the days. So basic meals are usually the ones that run our menu.

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I can lose track of time while breastfeeding. You don’t know which time you started, not sure what time you finish, the only thing you’re sure of is that you have a happy baby at the end. I love his smile and giggles when he is done. I love that I can provide for him, that what I have is more than enough to make a strong baby out of him.

I lose some sleep as well. My baby boy sleeps quite well though so I only usually wake up a couple of times at night. Very different to the first child, when I used to wake up every hour or every two hours. With him is just once around midnight, next one early morning…

Unfortunately for me, I lose hair also. It didn’t happen with J, but it’s happening this time. I had never experienced something like that before, not even in the most stressful moments of my life. It was quite shocking in the beginning, scary I must admit. I still struggle with it sometimes but I bought a special shampoo that is supposed to help nourish the scalp a bit more than the usual one. We’ll see…

There are many good websites out there that can tell you how to lose weight while breastfeeding. Let me tell you what I’m doing that hopefully it will have a good outcome after a while:

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  • I stopped drinking fizzy drinks.
  • I’m doing 15 minutes daily on my stationary bicycle.
  • I’m “trying” to cut down sweets and junk food                                                                                          [OK. I’m not actually, but I thought I should write it down in case you wanted to follow these guidelines, it will be good for you! 😛 ]
  • I’m taking breastfeeding vitamins. I took them for the first 2 months and didn’t notice how much they were helping me until I stopped taking them. I’m back on track now and I wish I hadn’t stopped.

And finally, I’m trying to not get too discouraged with my current weight and appearance. Many times, how I feel doesn’t reflect how I look. It’s like when you have some food on your teeth and you keep smiling and nobody says anything to you. Well, sometimes, a song that I love is playing on the radio or wherever and I start dancing it at home, and I remember my old-self, the one that used to go out with her friends and dance until the sun would come out, I feel good, I feel really good until I see myself in the mirror and notice that the size 8 body is not there anymore.

eli and E

It’s hard to overcome that shocking moment, not sure if you’ve gone through something similar, but when that happens I say to myself that I have two options: 1. to keep feeding that feeling with more discouraging thoughts that won’t make me any good or 2. turn the page and move on. Think from a more practical perspective and keep doing what makes me feel right. I know and I hope that at the end, what makes me feel right will make me look alright not only to the eyes of  others but most especially to my own eyes. Because as the phrase says:

“Beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder” 

May we all look ourselves and see the beauty within us, regardless of our weight, regardless of our status, regardless of our own fears and frustrations.

The power of an eye liner

I need to write this post before my little E wakes up from his morning nap. So I will try to tell you in a few words the healing power of an eye liner.

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You must know first though that I’m not any close to a fashion blogger, so don’t expect to read anything here that has to do with shadows, mixing or make up base. (I hope you’re not too disappointed on that!) But rather than that, I’d like to explain what is more important to me and that is self-esteem. During my third trimester of pregnancy I felt very FAT, not only that, but I also felt so physically exhausted that raising my arm, holding a brush and doing my hair seemed like a climbing the Everest sort of effort, as a consequence to that you would see me walking around the house on my rob, a messy pony tail and NO presence of make up on my face at all. Going out was a nightmare cause I not only knew I wouldn’t look good I also thought others would think the same and therefore felt terrible with myself. In that time we decided to move houses so I completely lost my make up bag, no trace of it at all around the new house for a while.

It’s now been three months since I gave birth, luckily for me I lost all my pregnancy weight, which I knew it would happen quite easily, not so luckily I was overweight before getting pregnant so I still have a long way to go before reaching my ideal weight. BUT I decided one day that enough was enough, that even if I felt tired, now because of breastfeeding, I didn’t need to look tired, so after finding my make up, I put some eye liner on, and the magic was done! A new “me”, someone that looked after herself, the little tiny effort had had that effect on me. And as in other things in life, when something makes you feel good, you want more and more of that, so I added some blush, and then even tried some foam on my hair to give it some volume, and…ta-dah!

This is not the daily “me” (You might still see me on the store with my messy pony tail and no make up on, hopefully not with the robe though :P) But this experience helps me remember that even if I do a little I can feel a big difference. The power of an eye liner doesn’t lie on the brand or your skill to put some make up on, it lies on the effort of looking after yourself. Because only when you love yourself you can love others, only when you see good in yourself, you can see good in others, and only when you’re in a higher position you can reach out your hand and lift others.