Have you got sunshine in your pocket? Trolls #MovieReview

If you’ve been reading us for a while you already know that we are movie and series lovers! So we’ve thought on sharing some of our love for movies with you on our #moviereview posts!

Better than talking just about the movie we want to share with you what we’ve learnt from it, cause you know, there’s always a life lesson that you can put into practise if you watch and listen carefully to it. Just like we did for Alice through the looking glass movie.

Oh by the way, our little disclaimer here, we haven’t been “lucky” enough for anyone to give us free tickets to the cinema so our review is just for the pleasure of it, and hopefully you will find it useful too.  If, by any chance, we would be invited to review something we will add our usual disclaimer 😉

trolls-2016-movie-review

So…which movie have we chosen this time? If you’ve got little ones and have a sticky memory for soundtracks you already guessed it..yep, Trolls, the last animation movie from Dreamworks. I’m not going to spoil you with any details, but you can expect lots of cool songs, old and new, good sense of humour for little ones AND grown-ups and very colourful, energetic characters. It is one of those films that everyone can enjoy.

What did we learn from the trolls?

These little cute creatures live in the forest in a state of never ending happiness, while the Bergens are these grumpy beings that don’t know how to be happy until they find out that if they eat a troll they will experience “true happiness”.

trolls movie review

In the beginning of this week I was thinking about this post, about how I was going to tell you how to be happy, cause you know, I was feeling happy myself, and thought yeah! maybe this will help someone…OK now I know that I am the one that needed this post the most. For various reasons I felt more than justified to feel as “grumpy” or even as sad as the Bergens. Thinking to myself, oh, if hubby had another type of job, or oh! if I could have someone to help me with the house chores, or If I could feel less tired… I didn’t realise then I was looking for my “troll” to experience “true happiness” Thinking that if I only had “that thing” I would be able to know what happiness feels like.

If you see the movie, you will understand that the trolls don’t live on a state of never ending happiness, they live on a state of never ending good attitude. The way how we react to things, how we face the challenges of life will make us find sunshine in our pockets, or empty dirty pockets. It is up to us. I can say that as for today, I have been able to find sunshine, while watching my kids laugh, and me laughing with them, while getting excited with hubby watching one of the last episodes of a series we are hooked at or just appreciating that I no longer have back pain any more.

There is sunshine in your pockets, you can’t stop the feeling, so just dance dance dance…

Just like our little J at this kids flashmob:

(created by Z-arts during half term holidays, at Manchester Printworks. )

 

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internet safety

How safe are your children online?

We recently saw an ad at the cinema that made us question how safe are our children online. Are they really protected? The truth is we still haven’t got to those dangerous teen years with our little ones but it is better to create good habits from an early stage we think.

Here’s the ad we’re talking about…

So “The Internet is like a magician hat” right? with all sorts of things in it. How can we protect our children from the harmful bits then? We think that when they’re little there are many ways to modify your children devices to make them Internet safe. One of the apps we’ve mentioned in the past is YouTube Kids where you can choose the type of content they have access to, according to age or even block the search option so just a grown-up can do it. It gives you some peace of mind because you never know what strange videos they can come across.

You’ve got also other options depending on your broadband provider or the type of device you’ve got. We for example have put some restrictions on the iPad because that’s mostly used by the children, and when I say children I mean mainly J, who is 5 years old, our 8 months old baby boy just chews the case..no danger in that! at least not online wise..haha

But you know what we noticed on this ad as well, when they say “parents don’t know what their children do” Oh well, let me tell you, if the boy is upstairs in his room by himself finding out what’s on that “hat” while you are on the living room doing something else no surprise you don’t know what “they’re doing” Sam and I think that it’s better to be safe than sorry and therefore need to create a safe comfortable environment where for example there’s no laptop or tv in the room, but it is always in a common area of the house so the not so child anymore can browse things online and we can be around, so if for any reason, something strange comes up we are there. It is also true that teens get curious about many things but the chances they will want to search for anything weird will probably decrease if we are around, don’t you think?

With this I am not saying we will be the shadow of our children and they won’t make their own choices. Agency is free for everyone and they can have access to anything in many other places that not our house, but even if we cannot control what others do we can make sure that our home is a safe place, a refuge for them from the nasty things of this world.  I think that’s what every parent wants for their children. That’s at least what we want, provide safety, protection and love in the house, online, offline and anywhere where we can possibly put our little bit.

What do you do to make them feel Internet safe? Any other suggestions or comments?

conversations-with-a-5-year-old

Conversations with a 5 year old #series

I have decided, mostly for our own entertainment but hopefully for yours too, that we are going to keep a record of some of our little princess’ witticisms. They are little gems of innocence with sparkles of cheekiness that make us laugh all, even when we remember about them after a long time! I don’t know how long I will run this series for, but I’ll post once a month our latest conversations with our 5 year old.

conversations with 5yo

At the school gate…

We are walking towards the gate, early morning, many other parents on the same run to drop their kids at school. Suddenly J notices across the street a boy from her Reception class. She pulls my coat and tells me:

-Mum! That’s XXX!

Boy stops, J stops. Then boy shouts at J:

– Are you in my class, aren’t you?

<Guys! School started in September! they have been seeing each other 5 days a week for over 5 weeks by now!>

BUT, wait for her response…

-Yeah… I think so!  She says to the boy.

Then the boy starts hoping all happy, yelling  ‘J, that’s J! ‘and gets all excited… J laughs and we continue our walk to the school gate.

I had to hold myself from laughing to be honest! Kids are kids, and their conversations sometimes are just #mindblowing!

At home…

We are at the dinner table having our supper, it’s just her and I, and E, but he only says “bla bla” at the moment, so not too much interaction with that. I ask her about school and activities..

-J, are you practising something nice at school? Like a dance or something for the parents?

– I think so mummy, no wait…I can’t remember, maybe we’re doing something.. (she seems all lost by now) So I tell her

– Maybe you’re practising something but it’s a surprise for mummies and daddies?!

She replies -Maybe,..or maybe it’s a surprise for ourselves too! who knows mummy…

hahaha, seriously, I could only answer to that saying, “yes, my sweetheart, it will be a nice surprise for EVERYONE!” #LOL

 

Anyway, we’re going to leave it here for now, cause we just recently thought of this idea and therefore haven’t been keeping track of all our amazing conversations with her but we promise that for next month we will share many more. Just don’t forget to stop by again around this time of the month!  😀

 

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back to work

Letter to myself: going back to work after maternity leave

Dear me,

You are about to finish your maternity leave, behind there’s that first month when you thought that 8 months would last forever, that when you would go back to work your baby would be old enough to leave him, cause you know he is already 8 months old!

Now you need to face the reality, your reality that it is over and you need to be away from him 3 days per week. I know everyone thinks 3 days is just fine and you will be alright but you think different. And because of this, I want you to remember a few things:

mummy and e

Remember that you need to trust that you are not the only one that can look after him and make him happy. Daddy is alright too, you know.He might get confused with what socks belong to who, (E or J) but he knows how to make him laugh, how to calm him down, how to give him the cuddles that he needs when he needs them. He will be able to style J’s hair every morning, even if no plaits are made, at least a nice pony tail, and no fashion will be in danger since it’s just the uniform she needs to wear on!

You also need to remember that going back to work means you will have some “adult time” for yourself, and you don’t have to feel guilty for that. It is alright to step away sometimes to be able to see the bigger picture of life and appreciate the small things even more.

daddy breakfast

Remember that you are not super mum! capable of doing everything, from laundries to homework, from meals to bedtime. If you feel too tired at some point, you can leave a few chores for the next day or even better, you can let somebody else gives you a hand.

Remember that as in everything in life, repetition and consistence marks the difference, so you will probably have a hard couple of first weeks juggling family time with your new schedule but it will get to settle down and you will be able to feel in balance again.

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Most of all, you have to remember that the option to choose is always there for you. If you think, at some point, you need to prioritise things on a different way is alright to say “no”. Whether it be to continue working, to become a stay at home mummy or even a full-time employee…The ball is always on your side of the field. Because you know what… “you are the captain of your soul”

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

From my most humble heart hope this letter will not only help me but help you as well. xx
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Diary of an imperfect mum

 

blogging jealousy

Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s blog

Although this is not family related it is blogging related but since the other day Sam told me my family blog seems like another child in our home we are talking about the same thing then… 😛

Blogger jealousy…have you ever look at somebody else’s blog and thought to yourself: mmm, how do they make it look so good?? I’m sure we’re talking about similar life experiences, in terms of parenting! but how come do they have thousands of followers and so many comments and mine is left in the corner like the kid that nobody wants to play with?

Oh well, I relaunched my blog 6 months ago when I had the urge to share with everyone our life changing experience of giving birth in the water and since then discovered my new passion for blogging. This new hobby has given me the opportunity to grow my social media skills, my photography skills and even my writing, not only in English but also in Spanish, as this is a multilingual family blog.

water birth

Giving birth in the water to our second child 🙂

Along the way though I had my ups and downs and in the aim of learning more and being more engaged with the blogging community I read other parenting blogs too. It was hard not to fall in the “comparing myself to others wagon”. Something that you should never do if you want to keep growing. The way I see it is like the horse that needs to wear those blinders to keep himself focus and go straight, listening to its owner’s directions. If you look to the sides, you lose the point where you were heading to. So the first rule to not covet your neighbour’s blog is

Don’t look to the side

Now, I need to clarify this point. Don’t look to other bloggers to see what they’ve got and you don’t to make you feel bad. Look at others with the spirit of wanting to learn and apply to your own blog what you think will work for you. I, for example, have come to like a lot  some blogs, ones for the way they tell their stories, other ones for their aesthetic, other ones because of how engaging and friendly are online… they all teach me good lessons, and yes, at some point I was jealous but I got rid of those feelings and started to enjoy myself much more.

The second rule is linked to the first one…Don’t judge others

This story will help you understand it:

“There was a little girl that lived up in a mountain in a very small, old house. From there she could see another house up in the other hill. Its windows were always shining like gold. She wanted to live in that house. She thought it was beautiful, not like hers. One day she decided to get a bit closer. She walked up to the other house. When she got there, to her surprise, the house was abandoned, not well looked-after, it had nothing to do with what she expected to find…however, from that house she could see her own home, its windows were shining like gold.” (excerpt from General Conference Women Session)

woman

See? the grass grows always greener on the other side, or that’s what it looks like, right? Behind those perfect Instagram accounts, those lovely pictures of smiley children, behind that “perfect blog”, there’s an imperfect person with an imperfect life that we don’t know of.

The third and last rule,  stay true to yourself.

sunset

I always remind this to myself. Hopefully it will help you too. It doesn’t matter what brands like, what your audience likes, you are not writing to “please” everyone. Your blog, as jokingly my husband said, it’s like another child, unique, especial, you want it to be its best to its own pace, to its own way. This is not a race to get followers, everyone is the winner if we become our very best. For me, blogging has more to do with sharing my family experiences in the aim to find people along the way that will be able to enjoy them, feel somehow related and grow with us. Don’t be like anybody else, just be you, and the companies that will want to work with you, or the readers that will engage with you is because they like you just the way you are.. (yes, I remembered Bruno Mars’ song as I wrote that bit.. LOL)

Blogger jealousy? Life jealousy? at the end it’s all the same, nothing good comes from “coveting” or “envying” others. Share with us your thoughts! We’re looking forward to reading them. 🙂

trilingual

What is raising trilingual children like?

Are you planning to raise your children trilingual? Would you like to give your offspring the opportunity to speak and understand more than one language?

Multilingualism for us is one of the assets we could provide to our family free of charge, but not free of effort, must admit.

Before you start doing it you might like to read our own experience as a multilingual family. When we decided to go for it I read everything I could about the subject so in the aim of bringing some light we would like to share what is raising trilingual children like not from a professional point of view but from a family who’s living it every day.

Having said this, please, keep in mind every home and situation are different but at least you’ve got one more to consider with this post.

My husband is Brazilian, so Portuguese speaking, I’m Spanish speaking and we live in UK, so children, well our 5 y.old, baby is only 7 months old, speaks English as well. It wasn’t always like that though. When we first married we used to live in Barcelona, a Catalan speaking city in Spain. One thing we had decided even before getting married is that we would teach our children our own languages. Main reason of that time: so they could be able to communicate with our families. I also wanted to teach them English but since it’s not my mother tongue I wasn’t completely confident about it.

j_e_football

no language barrier when it comes to football…Forca Barca!

When deciding what approach we would choose we came across the OPOL method. It stands for “One Parent, One Language”  Each parent consistently speaks only one of the two languages to the child. We thought that, either living in Barcelona or moving to UK, it could be the one that would work best for us. Since it allowed us to communicate easily with the children.

But it wasn’t about talking only…

We thought it would just be a matter of patience and speaking but raising trilingual children is much more than that. The first year our little girl was exposed to Catalan and above all Spanish. She grew and developed according to her age. Then we moved to UK when she was 18 months and English became her third language. I don’t think it delayed her speech but it obviously had some impact on her, as it did in all of us as well.  We even took her to the Ear specialist because we thought she couldn’t listen too well (this was when she was 2) it turned out to be her hearing was just being “selective” and she was just ignoring us whenever she wasn’t interested on what we were saying… -cheeky girl! I know- she was perfectly healthy and I was very pleased with the doctor who encouraged us to keep talking to her in our own languages. In his own words he said “This is an amazing opportunity you’re giving her in many senses”

What else apart from speaking then?

birthday girl

The Portuguese speaking side of the family 🙂 (just part of it)

Reading books in your own language or translating them as you read them, travelling to visit family, regular Skype conversations with them, teaching traditions from your home country and learning the new ones from your adopted one, and most important, being consistent, at home and outside, regardless of who’s around, regardless of the situation, all those things have been part of this process and without them our child wouldn’t be able to understand the three languages and speak “almost fluent” in all 3. She just turned 5 and started school full time but before that she attended a local nursery three times a week. She still mixes them a bit but she knows what language to speak with who. Hubby and I speak Spanish with each other so I would say that it’s the dominant one but we are working on that so she can speak Portuguese with him and doesn’t reply in Spanish. She replies in English who anyone that speaks to her in that language. And now that my husband’s family live closer she is improving her fluency with them also.

Giving her more than just the opportunity to communicate

Our main reasons to raise them multilingual where: family and better future and job opportunities. As time has gone by I’ve come to realised that it is also a fascinating growing experience that expands their minds and makes them more aware of other cultures, other languages, different backgrounds. It opens up their understanding of the world. She wants to speak Chinese because she said “There’s a lot of people who are Chinese, and how am I going to be able to speak to them mummy?” One of her best friends is Russian and able to speak some French so they’re always trying to learn new words from each other!

So what is raising trilingual children like? An amazing, hard-working but very rewarding experience. You will face funny situations and not so funny ones but at the end everything will be alright, and if it’s not alright, it’s not the end… 😉

 

big sister

8 things you will only experience if you are a big sister

This blogpost is based on real events, although if you ask the little brother we will deny any evidence of it.

Here 8 things that you will only experience if you’re the big sister based on my own experience as a big sister and now our first child’s experience.

#1 You are suddenly considered an “almost” full grown-up

big sister

no matter if you’re 5 or 13, if you’re only months or years apart, from the moment you become the eldest you are responsible for your brother’s sake ALWAYS.

This takes me to #2 The blame is always on YOU or at least most of the times…

blaming you

When little E (our baby boy who’s 7 months old) pulls J’s hair (our 5 year old) we never say ‘E stop pulling J’s hair’ It’s actually more like: ‘J why did you put your hair so close to his hand??!’

#3 It will be 10 times harder to impress your family

gymnastics

So you’re doing all sorts of acrobatics BUT your little brother is suddenly able to hold his toy with one hand, that’s it, you’ve lost it! He got your parents attention for a good while!

#4 Baby brother has to be a part of the game regardless of time and circumstances.

siblings playing

When playing with your Barbie doll he will be the giant monster that invades the mansion or when you’re with your friends or cousins and you want to go somewhere he will have to come with you.

Which makes me remember my teen years and #5 when your little brother is not so “little” any more he then will become your chaperone.

giphy-3

His will is not questioned on this matter if you’re going on a date your parents will make him go with you. Nothing less appealing than having your little brother around, right?

#6 You will be able to comfort him like nobody else does

siblings comfort

This applies when you’re still little and you’re able to make him laugh with your silliness or when you grow older and you’re able to connect with him and say the right words to make him feel better.

#7 You will be able to understand each other by just a look

siblings look

As years go by, complicity between you and him will be so strong that words won’t be necessary to laugh at a joke or understand a situation.

#8 He will become the best friend you never asked for but you cannot live without.

siblings sleeping

Siblings relationships are fascinating, when being young you can fight, laugh, cry, all at the same time. When you grow up it’s not much different to that… The truth is that beyond time, age or distance there’s a special bond. I can see it with our children and I’ve lived it with my own brothers. When I was little I always wanted to have a big brother, I used to complain for being the eldest. I wouldn’t change it for anything now. Being the big sister is the best!

What would you add to this list? There are so many things!

Cuddle Fairy
Mumzilla
first day school

After her first week of school we’ve learnt that…

Life with kids is HARD work

tired

Not that we didn’t know this but now, going through a tight schedule from Monday to Friday we realize it can be very exhausting. I thought having a few mornings to myself would be great…I was so naive! it is great, indeed, but it’s also time consuming and I need to be very careful to use my time wisely. (by the way, while writing this I still have all the dirty dishes to wash…see, my priorities there..LOL)

Waking up early every day helps 

Since our four year old has started school we are all waking up early enough to have time for having breakfast together, a shower (myself) and even watching some videos or playing some games. It’s nice to feel you’re following a routine and it’s working well.

Short goodbyes, happier faces.

school first day

When dropping her at the school gate is better to give her a quick kiss and hug than extending it for too long. If we don’t do it, she gets clingier and starts thinking that she’s going to miss us too much and so on..

2 laundries better than 1

before after school

I just learnt that today when I noticed that tomorrow she won’t have any white polo shirts to wear on! oh! and laundry related, think I will have to use some product to keep them bright white otherwise by the end of the year she will be wearing “grey shirts” LOL

Don’t bomb her with questions right after school

So I’ve noticed that she’s more willing to openly share with me how her day went if I bring up the questions while having a conversation, doing something that amuses her. For example, while being at the park, just say so “what games did you play?, who did you play them with?” Then she will start telling me even other stories without me interrogating her like a police officer!

school uniform

Always encourage her to see the bright side

Not every day of her first week has been perfect. She had a couple of days that she didn’t want to go anymore and cried, but we’ve been talking to her a lot about how good is for her to go to school, make new friends and learn loads of “important stuff” as she says it. It’s working, so we will keep up doing it.

As you can see LIFE is complicated, whether you’re 4, 33, or 7 months…the good thing about it it is that we have one another, and can help each other out so we all keep learning and growing.

How did it go for you all? Hope you all had an amazing start of school, work, or whatever! 🙂

How to overcome post-vacation syndrome or my 3 glimpses of joy

OK, it’s been a while since we left behind the beautiful beaches, the sunshine and our dear family in Barcelona, besides the first week of school is over now so we should say that it is time to move on and get over the post-vacation syndrome, don’t you think?

First of all, let me just clarify a few things, I’m not a doctor whatsoever so if you truly are suffering from some sort of depression please seek medical advice as it can be treated as any other illness. Looking for help is the right thing to do. This post just intends to share with you how we’ve overcome those feelings of burden, loneliness and stress that come when you’re back to a routine and are no longer surrounded by a warm weather and a cold drink. 😉

airport

Let me confess to you all that as soon as I landed and got home I was not in the mood at all and I searched for any excuse possible to start an argument, I know…that’s not right, but that’s what happened. The rest of the week didn’t go too much better but I tried not to be so grumpy. I don’t know, I guess I had mixed feelings of facing my routine again, not being surrounded by the people I love, apart from my own family of course. So the days went by and I noticed I had lost some spark, some sense of humour and I was suffering, but above all, my own family were suffering as well. I must say that the little ones had their own way to express it…E for example, being just a baby didn’t laugh as often as he used to, basically because there he had tons of people smiling and playing with him, and J, she was sad as well. She understands that we have work and school here in UK but she, without a shadow of a doubt, would go back to live in Barcelona. I don’t really think she understands that she wouldn’t be able to spend the whole time in a swimming pool and playing with her yayus though… but anyway she was so sweet, she mentioned to Sam her concern about being away from her grandparents. In her own words she said “Who’s gonna be with them? There’s no J there, we need to create another me to go live with them” My heart almost broke when I heard that.

at the beach

So now comes the turning point. No sadness last forever. I knew I was skipping some things that would help me to be more focused and in tune with the Spirit. Remember, as we said before, we are a believer family, so praying and scripture study work for us. For you might be something different, maybe meditation, maybe a good read, whatever makes you feel more in peace with yourself, the important thing is that you’ve got something. So it was the middle of the week and didn’t expect any visits when two people knocked on my door. I was alone with the kids and I get a bit paranoid of opening the door to strangers but this time I went and the two sister missionaries from my church were standing there. They came in, had a drink and we had a nice chat. Then they challenged me to do something: every day I needed to look for my 3 glimpses of joy and write them down somewhere, so by the end of the week I would have a list of the things that made us happy. I agreed to do it and so I started on that same day.

At night, during dinner time, I shared this with Sam and we all thought of what things had made us happy that day. Making that effort helped me to go out of the “darkness side” and see the many reasons I had in my life every day to feel good, to laugh, to cry of joy… Let me share a few things that I recall very quick:

One day, while J and Sam were at the park, only the two of them, she picked up a flower for me and Sam took a picture of her with a beautiful smile on her face.

flower

Thinking of mummy…

Other of my glimpses of joy was the sunshine we enjoyed one of the days. Another one was to see little man enjoying a lot one of the new solid foods he’s trying.

Then we got to enjoy some really nice ice creams after the park one day.

As you can see, there’s no fanciness or spending lots of money to go back to your true-self, to the one that doesn’t need holidays to feel good, to laugh. Being thankful, acknowledge the bright side of things, the people you love and the ones that you need to work a bit more to do so, help you, at least, helped us, overcome post-vacation syndrome. Hope as you read this it will help you in some way or another too.

Have a great back to school, back to work you all!!

PS What are your 3 glimpses of joy for this week?! 🙂

Linky
Petite Pudding

A not so perfect graduation

What happens when you have a big event coming soon, a great achievement for one of the little people that share life with you and then when it happens nothing goes as planned. “A not so perfect graduation” is the story of a mum who learned the hard way to accept their offspring the way they are.

preschool graduation

J had her preschool graduation ceremony last Saturday. We had been talking about it since we heard of it. We were all quite excited at home. J loved the idea of being at a party with all her friends and I couldn’t hide the feeling of being a proud mama of my 4 year-old. We got there quite punctual, cause as I said, we were all anxious about the whole thing. Everything went fine in the beginning. We greeted some parents, J started playing with some of her friends, interacting with the staff, normal party, and then the games started.

graduation

By then, all parents that were supposed to be there were there so the place was quite full of people. J didn’t want to participate even though we both, Sam and I, tried to encourage her. Because she didn’t join the group at all she didn’t get one of the prizes at the end, which made her sadder, of course. We tried to have a chat with her, find out what was wrong, but she was getting more and more worried as time went by. They played other games, danced a song they had practiced, and took pictures with all the keyworkers.

She didn’t want to do any of those things. It got to a point where she started crying even though we didn’t tell her off at any time, we only tried convincing her with different approaches but none of them worked. She finally told me she was like that because she was scared of so many people in the room. She got very timid and didn’t want to do anything in front of the other parents that she had barely seen in other occasions.

graduation

In the beginning I was angry, more than angry, I would say I was disappointed because I know her, I know how happy and bubbly she is, when she feels confident enough. I wanted her to be in front of the stage showing everyone how wonderful my child is. I WAS SO WRONG. All the time I was thinking only about myself, the proud mama not being able to show my little princess’ skills to the rest of the world.  I didn’t sympathize with her feelings of apprehension and fear towards strangers.

The truth is that I have a beautiful, creative, adventurer little girl who is also very shy. She is afraid of the dark, of being on her own, and recently of dogs. She’s shy in front of people she doesn’t know at all, adults or kids. Only when she feels confident enough she will reveal herself to you. But she is also sweet, compassionate and caring, a joker and a good friend.

graduation

Even if only Sam and I can see it, even if she will only do her shows at home for us and the close family, I LOVE her. The not so perfect graduation has taught me that above what other people think there is my child, and her fears, and she will grow out of them on her own pace, in her own way, and I need to be there for her, not making her feel worse, but showing her that my love is and must be much greater than my pride as a mum.