It was about time that I wrote a blog post and shared with all of you some of our latest experiences.
The last couple of months have been tough. I didn’t have the strength to write because I didn’t have the strength to think positively. After much prayer, fasting, reading and the support from my family and my Heavenly Father I feel on a different level now. On a level that will allow me to share a few things with you that I hope it will bring you some comfort and ideas if you are going through a difficult time yourself.
First of all, you know I’m a Christian and many times I have shared with you some of our beliefs as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I understand that obviously not everyone share these beliefs but I do hope that you have something to believe in your life, something greater than you and your circumstances, that will help you carry your burden. Whatever that is, replace that whenever I mention God in this blog post. And if at any time you feel like getting to know more about our family beliefs we are here for you.
Well, having said that, let’s go to the heart of all this. In September we bought a used car from a car dealer. The car turned out to be quite faulty and since then we have experienced lots of issues with the owner of the car dealership. I haven’t written a review yet but I will do so when the time comes, and you will be able to read our experience and be alert if at any time you consider doing business with him. This is not the review yet, this is the story of how I got to overcome the frustration and disappointment, the physical and mental effects of being left without a car for an extensive period of time.
For those of you who’ve got little ones at home and carry busy lives you will understand how complicated it can get.
In the beginning, I would build up my hope every time he said our car was soon to be sorted. I would make plans for the weekend of fun family day outs. Then nothing happened. After 2 weeks I started to feel more tired of the situation. Every time I would hang up the phone after talking to him I would cry because of how impotent I felt.
Every time a new journey would come up I had to figure out how I was going to do that without a car. Bus, taxi, walking? Sam used to look at me and feel sorry. I would keep him updated with everything the car dealer would say to me. I always like to deal with these things myself because I like feeling in control of the situation. That was my first mistake and therefore the first tip of advice I can give you.
Share your burden with others
When I told my husband how I was truly feeling and not just ‘tired’ he was able to step up and helped me better. We started working together. We started looking at the problem from different angles and we came up with possible ways to resolve the issue. This time though we were one. We had the same vision. We decided that for my own well-being I wouldn’t lead with the person directly anymore. He would be in charge of that. Obviously, he would keep me updated but I didn’t have to talk to this person again. That really brought some relief to our family life.
But weeks kept going and the solution didn’t seem close. I was feeling more irritable and anxious. To this point I was not only feeling tired of all the walking everywhere but also mentally drained. I kept praying, asking for strength, asking for this situation to be over. I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong. I would think to myself -I’m not perfect but I’m not a bad person, what else I need to learn and why God is not working his miracles on our life? Why not all of a sudden I have the car back on my driveway? I mean, I know he can do anything. Then, why not this?! He obviously sees how much we are struggling with it. Then the realisation came. Before loosing my faith I understood something.
I found the right perspective
I was focusing all my efforts, my mood, my strength in solving this issue and obviously, when that didn’t happen I was getting more frustrated. But on that journey I forgot to be thankful. I forgot that despite how ripped off I felt I had a family that I treasured with all my heart but that actually I wasn’t treasuring any more. I wouldn’t laugh with them, I wouldn’t goof around with them anymore. I was forgetting I could still be happy, I could still feel blessed despite the difficult times, but only if I had the right perspective.
And this is it. The car situation at some point will just be in our memories. It will be one of those stories you tell people and maybe even laugh at all the unfortunate series of events. But it will be just that, a memory. It will be over.
You know what it won’t be over? My family. Because we believe our bonds are eternal. We believe I can be together with my family forever. God helped me realised that, indeed, I was facing tough times but that I had many reasons to smile and have joy in this life.
Until today we still don’t have the car back. Soon it will be two months. But I wanted to write this blog post even before our problem was solved. I told you. This is not the story of a car. This is the story of how I got to overcome frustration and disappointment.
I feel physically and mentally stronger now. I feel happy with my loved ones. If you are reading this and you feel you cannot relate because you don’t have children, or you’re not married or you just don’t have a car, trust me you still can. Search for the good in your life. We are not only surrounded by darkness all the time. If you are alive that means you still have a chance, a chance to feel happy despite your circumstances. Focus on that. Find your right perspective.
To me, that was my family and my belief in God and eternal happiness.
I am not jumping on one foot, laughing out loud 24/7. I still have some bad nights and days. But now I can go back to that feeling of peace I found in my heart when I realised what matter the most.
I hope and pray that you will find that peace in your life too.
**Here are some websites/songs I’ve checked/heard to help me feel more uplifted and find more light in my journey; understand better my feelings and emotions.
You are more than welcome to have a look yourself.
Peace in Christ (song)
I will be what I believe (song)
Hope works (Playlist of motivational videos)
Think wellbeing (North west program to improve your emotional well being) – aka Cognitive Behaviour Therapy -CBT
The Book of Mormon (scripture book)
Saints (Church History book)