Letter to my first-time mummy self

Breathe in, breath out, breath in…oh well you know how it goes. By now you have already attended that pre-natal class and you know all the bits and bobs of how giving birth is going to be. You feel confident in yourself yet afraid of thinking if you will actually be able to handle everything that comes your way.

You have read a thousand times what contractions are going supposed to feel like, but you have experienced none yet.

Well, first-time mummy self, I’ve gone through all that, in fact, I’ve done it twice! So let me give you a few tips of advice:

#1 Be patient with yourself AND with your partner

Your body is going through so many changes, but you will need to trust it, cause at the end, everything will flow naturally, it will respond wisely to all your needs and your future baby’s needs.

Be patient with your partner, it’s his first time as well and it’s quite difficult to put himself in your shoes, especially since he’s got to work and study at the same time.

#2 Acknowledge your own efforts

You are always thinking there is something else that needs to be done, something else that you could learn. But take some time to just relax and consider all the journey you’ve already achieved. You have done wonderfully.

#3 Breastfeeding ain’t a fairy tale but DON’T give up

I know you have read plenty of articles talking about the magic of ‘bonding with your baby’ And you want to believe it will just be like that for you too.  I am afraid to tell you this, but it won’t. Your first two months it will be an exhausting frustrating and painful journey where you will want to feed your baby girl but she won’t latch properly due to her tongue tight. It will even cause some bleeding.

And yes, I know, you will think WHY?! but search for support. Breastfeeding support groups and your closest family will be the shoulder to cry on. Refuge yourself in much prayer. And after those two months, your baby will have grown, you and she will understand each other better and you will NEVER feel that pain again. It will go so well that you will breastfeed your baby girl until she turns two and your second one, no pain, no harm, and still breastfeeding him occasionally, and he is already 2 years old!

#4 Treat yourself physically and emotionally

I know you think you need to sacrifice your time, yourself, your everything for that little angel that has been given to you, but trust me when I tell you that she will be fine if you leave her for a couple of hours to go out and do some exercise routine. It is not a matter of down-sizing or going back to your twenty-something’s shape. It’s a matter of feeling with more energy and strength, feeling good about yourself so you can lift others.

#5 It will be the time together and not the toys or clothes that will make you all happy

I know you are going through some difficult times, but you will find more financial stability. But trust me, first-time mummy self, it’s not about buying the latest toys or baby accessories. It’s not about the super expensive baby outfits that will make your little one smile and giggle. As lame as it may sound, it really is about your love and care. Those moments where you and she will look at each other, the moments when she will pull your hair and you will rub her tummy and make her laugh because she is as ticklish as you are.

Dear first-time mummies around the world, you are doing an amazing job! Don’t let anyone, even yourselves tell you otherwise. You were never a mummy before, you didn’t go to school and study for this eternal job but yet you are doing wonderful, cause you are learning with every step that you and your little one make. You are learning from your own mistakes, and that’s parenting! No need for a super hot skinny mummy with a mummy-daughter matching outfit telling you how perfect her day is! It’s about your messy hair, your sleepless nights, your worryings and their achievements, and all the laughs and tears in between.

So, to my first-time mummy self and to all of you first-time mummies out there…HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! 
Treat yourselves with something delicious and hold your loved ones tight tonight!

“This post is an entry for BritMums #VicksBabyRub Challenge, sponsored by Vicks BabyRub. Specially designed for babies aged 6 months and over, Vicks BabyRub is available at Boots, Superdrug, Tesco, Asda, Waitrose and all good pharmacy chains. RRP £3.99.”

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